Breakfast for my Midnight Feast: A Memoir (not really, but that'd be the best title ever)

When did we get into this fantastic food feng shui (fung shway)? In a strange and magical land where certain things are best for breakfast, while others are more dinner items, what is fresh and new, and what is taboo? What can I say? It's food feng shui!

I love a good bowl of cold cereal for breakfast. Maybe it's cinnamon delicioso crunch or chocolate frosted sugar bombs. Whole milk or two percent, skim perhaps, or even soy milk will be my cereal's cool companion.

Remember when the more expensive, sugary cereals came with a prize in the box? The lucky kid remembered to keep the awesome spoon they got out of a cereal box a long time ago in a galaxy far away, that one that changes colors when they put it in milk? Yeah, we all had one. Don't deny it. If you didn't have it, you envied someone who did.

But can such a delightful dish be kept to only the early hours?

No! I will not make it so, Captain!! I will not let it be! Those aren't words of wisdom! Set it free!

Cereal is a meal for any time, and the guidelines are simple:

• If it's morning, you're good, no matter what. That first wake up meal of the day, no matter when YOUR morning starts, is breakfast, and so clearly a good time for cereal.
• If it's afternoon, you had BETTER be wearing PAJAMAS! This is the PAJAMA CLAUSE! It only works if you're in pjs, folks. Else your breakfast cereal rights may be suspended.
• Dinner? Of COURSE cereal is acceptable for dinner! But not a run-of-the-mill right on time dinner. It must be later than you usually would take dinner, OR after seven pm in your specific time zone.
• Breakfast cereal is a great snack even with out the milk. You can have THAT anytime, and in any condition. Except for at breakfast. If you're having it for breakfast, don't be cheap with the milk.
• Midnight snack. Ladies and Gentlemen, there is no greater midnight snack than this: That a man or a woman might lay down their Mac book for a bowl of cereal.

Amen.