Thursday, April 16, 2009

Life is Beautiful

title: the Name of possibly the most heart wrenching movie of all time.

I came to the park to forget about my worries. I talked to a friend about a potential suitor. As usual, he's rather interested but I don't think he's what I'm looking for.

"Go for it", says my friend. But my mind in the passenger seat keeps stomping the invisible break.

Realizing that worrying was what I came to forget, and that this suitor had me worried, I wandered to the swings and talked of other things.

My friend went to dinner and I sat alone, enjoying the wind and the sky. As I swung on that swing, the wind pushed me high, and for just a little while I knew I could fly.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Time is a great teacher... Unfortunately it kills all its students!!

quote: Hector Berlioz

What if you got old prematurely? No, no, just wait! Hear me out! I mean, what if you were young, like in your late teens or twenties or even in your thirties, and you woke up one morning with the body of an eighty year old?

What would you do?

First thing first? PANIC!! After that, try to find a cure. Of course, its infinitely likely that there is no cure. You're doomed to be old until you waste away from the illness (oy, if you're young and you suddenly become old, I'm willing to call that an illness).

Okay, so you're now old until you die, which will presumably be sooner then you may originally have expected, now that you're old and all.

Will your loved ones recognize you? Will they believe you? Even if you know the deep secrets that they only entrusted to you, do you really have faith that they will know you? They'll probably send you to a crazy house, or a group home.

Then not only will you be out of your element because you were young and suddenly you're old, but now you'll be surrounded by peers who grew up two or three generations before you did! You'll be an outcast in the nursing home!! Old men will hit on you (or old ladies, to be gender sensitive) and little old lady cliques will gossip about you in corners, assuming that you cannot adjust the volume level on your hearing aid and suddenly have super sonic hearing that allows you to hear through walls and across great distances!

Ooh, now that I think about it, I think I'd raise hell in a place like that! I'd be the rebellious little old lady! It'd be all kinds of fun! If no one believes I'm me, then whats to stop me from getting away with murder? (figuratively. Maybe.) I'd hijack electric wheelchairs and rob the other old folks blind by cheating at poker!

I think I'd definitely play at some serious online dating! BWa ha ha! Imagine some poor hot young fella meeting me for the first time and finding that his hot date is an eighty year old! (naturally I'd be fishing for men in their prime, so that'd make their horrified realization all the more delightful)

I'd be the bane of every assisted living home.

And you know what? I'd say SCREW YOU, CREDIT!! I'M DYING SOON ANYWAY!! And run up the charge on every credit card I could get my wrinkly old hands on. TAKE THAT, RECESSION!

Post of the day! I SO want to do stuff like this in my hometown. It's like an ART ATTACK!!!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

To sleep, to dream, to do nothing


The term that any one human heart might hate most in all of this world. I suppose it's defined as trying and not succeeding. But I have a fear that it is worse than that. Much worse.

I fear that failure is when you don't do something that you can do and want to do. When you tried your best, you can hardly call it failing. You tried. You gave it all you had. But when you are completely capable of doing something, and you don't, now that's failure.

The fat man that claims he tries and still stuffs his face.

The would be author that excuses her lack of hard work for a lack of inspiration.

The student who just didn't feel like doing her homework.

How many more of those stupid little phrases can you come up with that apply to yourself? I should make a list of all mine. Except... Well, what for? Does it seem to you, as it seems to me, that it makes no difference that we admit to these? We still continue to fail.

You have failed to do what matters. And the worst part is, it's always something that we want. I want to finish my books. He wants to be an accomplished artist. She wants to be skinny.

How do we bear to be seen in public when we have failed to do the simple things that would give us personal satisfaction?

I hate it. I so hate it. And I fear it. There is nothing more terrifying.

There were five great fears in the world, for me, before I feared failure, and they are listed thus:
  • One was my irrational fear of roaches.
  • Another the only natural fear of the dark, paired with an imagination like my own, which always made for me terrors in the night.
  • A third was the obligatory fear of fear itself (for I often frighten myself with my own imaginings and dreamings of fearful things).
  • A fourth and rather ridiculous fear was that of zombies. Suffice to say I watched a scary movie.
  • A fifth was the absolutely not ridiculous at all fear of The Thing. You know, that eerie alien that kills somebody and then takes their shape, just until it infects its next victim? I was far too young to see that movie when I did.

But my horrible new fear blows all the other ones away.

I fear failure by inaction. Why won't I do something!?

Link of the Day!
I've always enjoyed Davids posts and you can find all kinds of neat new blogs through his Post of the Day posts. Enjoy!