Sunday, September 28, 2008

Knitting death-lists into scarves

It's a Sunday in late September. Fall is here. That means it's finally scarf season again. How about we do something impulsive and knit a scarf, rather than buying one? I've always had a special pride in wearing a scarf that I made, rather than something produced en mass by sweatshops in third world countries around the world.

Alright, perhaps I'm being a bit harsh. SOME of them are produced by enslaved grandmas in government funded nursing homes right here in America! No. That's not always true either.
Okay, rather than using controversial guilt trips to say why you SHOULDN'T buy scarves, I'll give a few awesome reasons for making your own!

Totally unique. I suppose that's a rather UN-unique reason, but hey! It's true!

It's really easy, and later you can brag to anyone that notices your new awesome scrap of neck-warming fashion. Yeah, I made it. All by myself. That's right. Uh huh, used yarn and everything!

Really, it's hard to get hand-knit scarves anymore. Most are just skinny fleece blanket cut-outs!

Dude, two words. Marketable. Skill.

Also, it's handy to have a pair of sharp metal needles with you when walking to your car in the parking lot late at night. "Gimme your money!" "Wait! just let me get it out of my purse...." And then BAM! Make sure to go for a killing blow. You're less likely to get sued for grievous injury if he's dead.

Oh yes. And never forget the evil Madam Defarge. Her only weapons were her knitting needles and some red yarn; and she managed a whole French style revolution, including the chopping off of heads! She was like the ultimate super-villain!

Unfortunately for Madam Defarge, she didn't live long enough to knit her own name into the scarf of death.

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