Thursday, June 11, 2009

The last stand

Recently I found myself on the couch, embroiled in the last half of the last movie of the Lord of the Rings series, which was being shown on some obscure satellite movie channel. An army of men on horses faced what appeared to be an unbeatable foe: A massive army of angry looking bald men with painted faces and giant war elephants that were larger than your typical 2 story building.

At first there's a glimmer of hope as the courageous men on horses charge the evil elephants. Then they're brutally trampled to death.

You know what that massive elephant army reminds me of? Hint: one of my greatest fears of all time. (There's about nine of those now. Zombies, roaches, the dark, the thing, fear itself, failure, guitar strings (that's new) and that which I will reveal to you presently.)


Don't get me wrong. I like guys. Just like any other woman I enjoy/bitterly hate a good crush, but I'm terrified of the whole dating scene. I feel just like what those poor dudes on horses must have felt. I'm facing something strange and unknown (a guy who's actually interested in me), and if I fail here I'll be promptly trampled to death (crushed).

Whilst comparing my love life to Lord of the Rings (dear lord what have I DONE!?) I might as well remember that the dudes on horses actually WON that battle. But I suspect they were the first to do so. I'm sure the evil elephant men trampled a lot of undeserving armies before they got to our courageous little horsemen.

So if this isn't the battle that I'm meant to win, then I certainly hope I won't be so trampled that I can't pick myself up, put myself back together and fight another day.

DISCLAIMER: to anyone of interest who may in fact read my blog: No worries. I'm exaggerating.

OH MAN. BEST link of the day EVAR!! This game is addictive. wind speed? I mean, really? AWESOME. Check out

so much better than the real thing.


Anonymous said...

oooooooooo yes yes yes yes , the game is fuuuuuuun ! i havent managed to get a hang on the 3 pointers .. but i shall beat the evil fan .

you were thinking of THAT when u saw lotr .. THAT ?!?!

Anonymous said...

you are a really good artist .. :)

doodleswithwords said...

I truly love LOTR, and I almost laughed until I peed myself reading that. I thought I was the only one who had thoughts like that! Hahaha. Also, your style of writing reminds me of my own... a lot. (:

Hyperboles all the way. (((:

ScholarLee said...

You are pretty freaking hilarious! The best part is that I am pretty sure your guitar string fear is the same one I get everytime I pick up my guitar after months of idleness, and have to tune the strings. I may even start wearing protective goggles.
You come to Canada and I will set you up with a cavalry full of bald fat men (albeit not on elephants) who will love you. You rock, Vengeance.